A letter of wishes is a simple document that sits alongside your will and helps explain your intentions. It gives your family and executor extra guidance - especially for the things a will doesn't handle well.
It's not legally binding, but it can make a huge difference in how smoothly things are handled after you're gone.
A letter of wishes is an informal document that supports your will. It allows you to explain decisions, provide context, and give guidance that wouldn't normally be included in a legal document.
Unlike a will, it doesn't need to follow strict legal rules. That means you can write it in plain language and update it whenever you like.
While it isn't legally enforceable, executors will usually take it seriously - especially when it helps avoid confusion or conflict.
Wills are designed to handle legal distribution of assets. But they don't always capture the personal side of things - the "why" behind your decisions.
A letter of wishes fills that gap.
It's often the difference between a smooth process and unnecessary disagreements.
There's no strict format, but most letters of wishes include a mix of practical guidance and personal context.
Start by setting the tone. Let your executor know how you'd like decisions to be approached, especially where discretion is involved.
This is one of the most common uses. You can list items and who you'd like them to go to, along with short notes explaining their significance.
Not everything will be documented. Provide guidance on how remaining items should be handled to avoid arguments.
You can outline preferences for burial or cremation, type of service, or anything else important to you.
This is optional, but many people include a short message to their family. It adds a human element that a will simply can't provide.
You can use the template below as a starting point. Keep it simple and write in your own words.
Letter of Wishes
Date: [Insert date]
I, [Your Full Name], provide this letter as a guide to my executor and family. This document is not legally binding but reflects my wishes and intentions.
General Guidance
I ask that my estate is handled fairly and with consideration for everyone involved. Where decisions are required, I trust my executor to act in good faith.
Personal Belongings
Items Not Specifically Listed
For any belongings not listed above, I ask that they are distributed fairly, taking into account sentimental value and personal relationships.
Funeral Preferences
[Optional: include burial/cremation preferences, service style, or other wishes]
Personal Message
[Optional: message to family or final thoughts]
Signed:
[Your Name]
Think of it as guidance, not a rulebook - but one that people are very likely to follow.
The biggest issue is vagueness.
Saying "divide everything fairly" might sound reasonable, but it often leads to disagreement - especially when sentimental items are involved.
The clearer you are, the better the outcome.
A letter of wishes is helpful, but it still relies on interpretation.
That's where the Who Gets What app comes in.
Understand the emotional and practical reasons inheritance disputes happen and what you can do to prevent them.
Practical steps to divide personal belongings clearly and reduce the risk of family conflict.
Understand the difference between a personal property memorandum, personal effects list, letter of wishes, and bequest list.